i've gotten into this weird habit of pointing in random directions when i mention cities or neighborhoods...and i won't even point in the correct direction most of the time. like, i'll be telling someone that a company is in west berkeley, but while explaining where it is, i'll be pointing north. and i can't just say the name of a city or area without pointing somewhere. it's so odd. i don't know how this started all of a sudden. i first noticed in a few days ago when i was telling someone that a company moved from novato to san francisco, and i had to flail my arm around just to say that. i don't know what's gotten into me. gotta keep my arms under control. don't want to be in an interview telling them that i went to school in michigan while pointing towards the pacific ocean...
posted at 8:41 PM |  

the bush twins' speech was idiotic. must run in the family.

no, i didn't intentionally watch. was just flipping channels and caught the tail end of ahnold's speech...then the twins came on and i was just captivated by how bad it was.

they made some comment about how ahnold made it ok to marry a democrat. which was weird considering, um, didn't their own dad marry a democrat?

whatever, it's a waste of energy for me to try to make sense of anything they say...
posted at 7:43 PM |  

left work a bit early...had a headache...felt out of it all day actually.

some good news: i have an interview on friday. what kind of job is it? i really have no clue. it's the one i mentioned last week, when i was having trouble writing the cover letter because the job description was so vague. glad i pushed myself to apply anyway. it was really half-hearted, but an interview is an interview, and it's better than no interview.

what's scary is that i have to take an hour-long test before the interview. i tried asking the hr person what the test covered, but i couldn't make any sense of her answer. it was something along the lines of "it doesn't matter if you don't have experience, they are just testing you. you don't have to prepare anything."

um, ok. whatever you say. there better not be any programming on it, or i'm screwed...
posted at 6:13 PM |  

i have new upstairs neighbors...3 girls. 3 very chatty girls. but they can't be much worse than the guys who were living there before...i hear a lot of giggling and a lot of "oh my god, are you serious?!?!" - that type of thing. which might get annoying, but that's ok. as long as they don't keep me up all night, i'm happy.

went to fremont today to tie rakhi on my cousin brother...as usual, i didn't send any out to any of my other cousins. i'm kind of oblivious about these things...
posted at 4:21 PM |  

tired. i did make it to work by 9:45...well, maybe i was 2-3 minutes late, but whatever. the bitch didn't show up until 10:15 or so (said she got a speeding ticket on the way). and the boss? he didn't show up until about 10:30. so i basically woke up early for no reason. but i got to leave early, which was nice.

got together with some old, old friends tonight...as in, our dads were all friends in the 70's before we were born, and then we all came along and were forced to play together : )

anyway, we hung out and talked. well, mostly i just listened. i mean, one of the girls is married and has a baby, and the other girl just got engaged, so the whole night seemed to center around marriage/home/family issues. wedding locations. how many guests to invite. blah blah blah. things that change after you get married. blah blah blah. baby stuff. blah blah blah.

i don't mean to imply that i was bored, it's just that i am so far removed from all that...it would be different if i were also in the same stage of my life, but clearly i'm not, so...what to say?

i need to find more single friends.
posted at 11:19 PM |  

some important person's coming to the office tomorrow (important meaning someone who could give us money). so...the boss is making us all get in by 9:45. i know that doesn't sound bad to most people, but lately, i'm lucky if i can get out of bed by 9:45.

oh, and we also have to dress nicer. i was specifically asked not to wear "tattered jeans". i assume that non-tattered jeans are ok. though i'm not really sure if i own any. uh, maybe i should just go with khakis. don't want my boss to think that he lost money because of my tattered jeans.

i bet you this person isn't even going to see the bottom of my jeans though.
posted at 9:53 PM |  

feeling frustrated trying to write a cover letter....i think the main problem is that i have no clue what the job entails. the description provided is really short, and it contains terms that i have never heard before. so it's hard to explain why they should consider me for the job. it's not even an educational company (though they have developed a few educational software products among various other things). so, i don't know. when i have so much trouble getting a letter together, it makes me wonder if i should even bother. maybe i should look for something else to apply for this week. i don't know...i'm tired and cranky and want to go to sleep...
posted at 12:21 AM |  

been looking though hotjobs for the job of the week, and i noticed several jobs that i applied for months ago, still being listed. it's so depressing. why don't they want me??? : (
posted at 12:30 AM |  

gymnastics got a bit nuts tonight. i think they need to figure out a new system for scoring...seems like such a mess...i suppose it gets tricky because routines can differ so much - it's like comparing apples with oranges sometimes, even on the same event. and then on top of that, there are so many little things that judges have to pay attention to that a general audience doesn't even notice. so obviously, people are going to get ticked off when they see scores that seem too low. though i think the crowd tonight went a bit overboard. (and i really hope that's not the reason that guy's score was changed)

anyway...in the end, i forget who won what, but i do know that i saw some cool shit. i wish that stuff could be rewarded in some way...
posted at 12:01 AM |  

not really feeling into track and field. and there's no more swimming to watch after tonight. no more aaron piersol : (

i don't really understand how the scoring mistake happened in men's gymnastics. i always thought the starting values were made clear to everyone beforehand...i mean, you'd think it would all be computerized by now...so strange...
posted at 1:14 AM |  

she has to be the most annoying person i have ever met in my entire life...i just can't take it anymore!! i want out!!

sometimes just the sound of her voice makes me want to scream. or to throw a book at her head. knock her out. something. anything. just make it stop!!!!!!
posted at 12:53 PM |  

the bitch only worked for about 3-4 hours today too. i'm getting so sick of this. it makes me feel like not working too. i've slacked off all week. left early again today too. i just resent the fact that she gets all this extra time off...i don't understand why no one else in the office seems to care...

anyway. sean emailed...he's just starting law school. i know he had sent out applications earlier this year, but he never mentioned to me that he actually got accepted somewhere. i don't even know which school he's going to. aren't those things that you would tell your friends about? i guess i'm not one of them anymore. i don't know. actually, i was really surprised to get an email from him without me emailing him first. sometimes it starts to feel as though i don't even exist to him anymore, you know? that feeling sucks.
posted at 6:41 PM |  

wow. i would have really enjoyed the gymnastics tonight IF I HADN'T ALREADY KNOWN THE OUTCOME!!!

don't get me wrong, it was still fun to watch. but just not as fun as it *could* have been if i had been totally shocked, you know? i was on the phone with my mom at some point in the middle, when hamm was in 12th or so. and i didn't tell her i knew, because i didn't want to ruin it for her too. but then she apparently started flipping channels and went on CNN or something and saw it in the scrolling text at the bottom. (damn that scrolling text!!) so, after it was over, she called me and was like "i already knew!" and i said "me too!".

but anyway. natalie was awesome in the relay. i wish she had been able to swim more events...although, she's more of a quality over quantity person, and i admire that about her.
posted at 12:01 AM |  

stupid people at work!! this afternoon, someone yelled out "hey, XXX won the gold in YYY!" - thanks a lot asshole. now, once again, my evening will be spoiled because i already know who won. grrr.

i'm still at work. left really early the past 2 days, but my boss came back from vacation today, so i feel like i should stick around. at least until he comes back from wherever he just went, because he left his dog here. poor thing. it got yelled at today, and then decided to just wander out of the office. no one even noticed it was gone for a long time. eventually, someone found it wandering around university ave. and now his daddy left him here all alone in the office with me.

anyway, i didn't do much at all today. for the second day in a row, the bitch didn't even start working until 3 in the afternoon. and of course, she split a little after 6. no vacation form filled out. pisses me off...can't help it, it's just not fair!!
posted at 6:29 PM |  

women's gymnastics was ok, i guess. not much to say - the US team seemed to make a lot of mental errors, and then seemed like sore losers even though they came in 2nd. i don't really care for their attitudes (aside from mohini, she's cool). in the past, they may have been able to make up for the little mistakes and still win the gold, but not with this new cut-throat format. have to be more focused - and when you're not, at least acknowledge that the romanians were.

but anyway. the men's swimming relay was fun tonight.

and no, i don't really have anything to blog about besides the olympics because my life is pretty damn boring right now.
posted at 12:32 AM |  

those japanese gymnasts were pretty amazing.

and natalie won! yay!

that's about all i have to say tonight. i'm tired and i feel like i'm getting sick. but i have to send out a resume - a recruiter actually contacted me today, how about that? i'm not really sure about the job, but whatever. i could use the interview experience, if i can get one.
posted at 12:08 AM |  

tried to email a post from work earlier, but it didn't get published. anyway, here it is, copied and pasted, several hours later:

it's really annoying that i can't look at certain websites without accidentally finding out the results of some of the olympic events...don't they understand that some of us want to enjoy the races on tv tonight without knowing the outcome ahead of time? i mean, at least on the local news, they tell you to look away when they're showing the results. but the stupid people putting content up on the internet can't put in a link saying "click here for latest results" rather than saying "XXX wins gold in YYY" in big bold print on the front page??? and even some of those news channels like CNN or whatever - they show the results in that scrolling text on the bottom. no warning, nothing. if you happen to look down there, you're screwed. it just takes so much of the excitement out of it, you know? i even got an email from the cal athletic department this afternoon that has the results of a swimming event - at least the subject line of the email was clear, so i am avoiding opening it. maybe some people want to know right away, but i'm not one of them...

okie dokie, it's now time to go watch the race that i already know the outcome of...
posted at 8:34 PM |  

olympics overload...i'm beat. and all i did was watch.

quickly:

- go natalie!!!

- our stupid basketball team sucks...i wish they had put together a real team i could root for instead of throwing in a bunch of cocky, showboating NBA players who can't shoot the 3, can't play defense, and don't have any fire in them.

- so much for the big usa vs australia showdown in the men's swimming relay tonight. all that talk and neither of them were even close to winning!

- i'm rooting for mohini in gymnastics. she's a rock. and i like the fact that she's 25 and can still do all that. (*secretly wishing i hadn't dropped out of gymnastics when i was 8*)

- that one japanese swimmer who won gold kinda freaked me out. he seemed more possessed than happy.

too tired to make any more comments. and i really don't think i'll be watching this water polo match that's going on now, so please don't tempt me. i don't know what it is about the olympics, i just find myself watching the strangest things sometimes...
posted at 12:30 AM |  

i ate too much. i feel like i'm going to explode. that burrito was damn good though...nevermind the fact that it was so spicy it made my throat go bad.

i think chances are pretty good that i'm going to fall asleep at my desk this afternoon. no work to do. and it's really quiet because the bitch isn't here today. and it's dark because all the blinds are closed. and i didn't sleep much last night. and of course, i'm so stuffed from my lunch.

anyway...i better go pretend like i'm actually doing something.
posted at 2:29 PM |  

man, i'm just having a rough week. i don't know what's going on with me. i'm once again making myself miserable thinking about a certain someone. need a distraction. very badly. i can't wait until football starts. that'll keep me occupied...on saturdays at least...

for now...aaarrrrghhh. i don't know. all it took was a freakin' forwarded email from him and i went nuts. i feel ridiculous. i hate the way it just creeps up on me sometimes, so unexpectedly...i think i'm fine one minute, and then boom! i realize i'm not.
posted at 11:21 PM |  

something else got me boiling today too...the stupid management for my building left a letter on everyone's door this morning, and here's a direct quote from it:

"We do have a well-insulated building. Your neighbors should not be able to hear your radio, stereo, TV, or voices."

it's like they're encouraging people to make noise! what the hell?!?! this directly contradicts a similar letter they sent out a few years ago. i'll have to find that one.

anyway, it just got me really pissed off. i mean, if upstairs guy thought i was nuts before, he'll really think i'm nuts now...i don't know who wrote the letter. i'm guessing it is someone who is fortunate enough to have quiet neighbors, and not 3 young male students who like to stay up all night. i'd like to write a letter myself, inviting the author of this letter to spend a night in my room...*sigh*...

need a new job and a new apartment.
posted at 6:44 PM |  

i *try* not to let little things at work get to me, but it's so hard sometimes...people were talking about how much vacation time they have and things like that. seems like certain people in the office (the bitch included) get 12.5 days off, while lowly people like me get only 10 days, even though i've been working here longer than they have and haven't gotten a raise in 2 years.

anyway, somehow the bitch still has 7 days left to take this year. how the hell that happened, i don't know. i only have 4.5, and i know i've been in the office more than she has. thing is, she takes a lot of half-days and never fills out the vacation form for those days. so in essence, she's had at least 10 extra days of vacation. if not more. it bugs the hell out of me. plus, whenever she schedules "doctor appointments" and things like that, she does it at like 3 in the afternoon, in the south bay, so she hardly works for a couple hours on those days. meanwhile i make all my appointments in the morning and/or in berkeley, so i still work a good 6-7 hours at least.

i'm just so incredibly irritated by all this...it seems so unfair...just because she's chummy with the manager, she gets away with all this crap. and this other guy who is also friends with the manager, looks like he got extra days too. he took almost 3 weeks off a few months ago, and he still has 2 days left!! i just don't get it!! he is more honest than she is, so it's possible he took some time off without pay, but i remember hearing this conversation about him using vacation days from next year, so...i'm just totally confused. how could he possibly have some days left over??

i can't believe i'm going on and on like this about silly vacation days, but damnit...it's not fair!!!! i hate stupid office politics. i was sitting here just boiling inside listening to this discussion...i felt like steam was coming out of my ears...i want to just be able to shrug it off, but that's so much easier said than done...
posted at 1:40 PM |  

i hate it when my cable modem goes out. and if that isn't bad enough, it also means my cable tv is out. i hope it's just temporary. it's been happening a lot lately.

anyway, i guess i'll go take a nap or something. been feeling really tired these past few days. i wake up feeling as though i barely slept at all, even if i did sleep for a good 7+ hours. and then i feel groggy all day at work. which makes the days seem even longer than they already are...*sigh*...
posted at 6:33 PM |  

i'm always kind of fascinated when i meet an indian guy who is not an engineer, not a doctor, does not have an MBA, and is not in any sort of technical field. like tonight, i met this indian guy who majored in anthro and geography. have no idea how he managed to get that past the parents. oh, and his older brother majored in film or something...so bizarre. in a cool way though.
posted at 10:20 PM |  

bad day today...nothing in particular happened, i was just in a bad mood i guess...didn't sleep well last night, was really out of it all morning at work...then the bitch started being her usual annoying self. i don't even want to get into it, it was so ridiculous. i just don't find any humor in her antics, but for some reason, other people in the office do and seem to encourage her to behave like a 5 year old. i feel sorry for whoever she ends up marrying.

anyway...overall, just a miserable monday.
posted at 7:00 PM |  

took me a really long time to find the "job of the week" for this week...saw one in new jersey that looked good, but i really have no desire to live in new jersey. so i passed on that one. saw one in chicago, which i put on my "maybe" list. not because of the location, but because of the job duties, which seemed a little too difficult for me. finally found one in sf that seems like a good match. the only thing is, i applied for a job at the same company about 4 or 5 months ago. it was a different job though, so maybe they'll find me more qualified for this one...

anyway, after spending about 2 hours just looking for a job to apply for, i'm not really in the mood to actually write the letter tonight too. will start on that tomorrow.

and no, i didn't spend hours making funny bush-faces this weekend. i just thought it was a cute site. i did see "before sunset" though, which i loved. i don't think it was quite as humorous as "before sunrise" - from what i remember anyway. which might be totally wrong. but regardless, "sunset" has its own charm...and a great ending. i only wished the movie were longer.
posted at 12:31 AM |  

just had to link to this site:

hours of fun!
posted at 1:24 AM |  

went to my dad's restuarant to check out the new light fixtures...he's been slowly renovating the place all summer...anyway, the lights just got put in today. they're pretty cool. although...not at all what i expected...kind of has a more asian feel. it's the boxy shape i guess - more japanese looking than indian. but they're unique and make more of an impact than the chandeliers that used to hang there. anyway, i took some pics:



my favorite is the one below on the left with the yellow rectangle:



and while i'm sharing pictures, here's my favorite painting that i *might* have to say bye-bye to next month (though i'm hoping he'll be able to make some room for it so it can stay):


posted at 12:38 AM |  

i'm annoyed. made plans to go out with my cousin tonight, and she just emailed to ask if i mind if her boyfriend comes with us. what am i supposed to say? yes, i mind. i want to hang out with you, not with your STUPID boyfriend.

he lives just a few blocks from me, and i assumed that she would go see him before she went back home. but i honestly had no clue that she would actually have him join us...i mean, just last night i was thinking how cool it was that she's independent and doesn't have to do everything with him, etc. guess i was wrong about that. and the thing is, he's not even a cool guy who's company i would enjoy. he's just...there...

so...i'm disappointed. things like this always disappoint me. having similar issues with a couple other friends - except i don't see them at all because they are always with their boyfriends. i ask them if they want to go to a movie, and it's "sorry, i'm going to go see that with my boyfriend." great. who am i supposed to go to movies with? this is ridiculous.
posted at 1:11 PM |  

jessica simpson should stick to butchering her own songs rather than doing covers of songs that were good originally but are now crapified by her singing.

just my 2 cents.
posted at 12:31 AM |  

i think i might have a mouse in my kitchen. not 100% sure, but when i was in there earlier, i felt like something ran under the refrigerator. of course, i'm too scared to get a flashlight and look under there - i don't know why, i mean it's not like it's going to do anything to me. i just...don't like the idea of little critters running around in my apartment. and i don't like having to deal with them - and by that i mean setting up a mousetrap and then having to throw a dead mouse away. this is one of those things that a guy would be handy for.
posted at 9:19 PM |  

don't want to work today...so bored...

i feel like something's wrong with my body, but i don't know what. i mean, lots of little things are bothering me physically, but sometimes i feel like there's something else going on. nothing that i would be able to explain to a doctor, but just this feeling inside.
posted at 4:41 PM |  

the sun actually came out today. wow. the one day when i was actually dressed for the cold weather.

a lot of relatives have been trying to set me up with random indian guys lately. they'll tell me they know someone who knows someone who has a son who lives in the area and blah blah blah...i usually don't pay attention. my parents always used to tell them to leave me alone - not in those words exactly, but what i mean is, they were always on my side. they seemed to understand that i wasn't interested. but lately, even my parents are pushing it on me a bit - saying things like "it wouldn't hurt to email him" - things that they would have never said before. when i hear it coming from my parents, it's like "huh?". i must be getting old. why does everyone seem to think i can't meet anyone on my own? just because i'm single? did it ever occur to them that maybe i don't feel like dating anyone right now?

anyway, it's all just very annoying. what is the big deal if i'm 27 and not married? or 30 and not married? i don't give a shit. i don't feel like having babies yet anyway. what is it about me that gives them the impression that i'm hopeless and that i need their help or else i'm never going to get married at all???

so frustrating.

plus there's the whole issue of whether i'll marry an indian guy or not. i'm leaning towards not. of course, if i meet one that i fall for, that is a different matter. but in general...not. there is just so much crap that goes on in indian families, between in-laws in particular. been thinking about that a lot lately, just because of things that have come up in conversation with some of my relatives who were visiting. i mean, my parents have been divorced for over 20 years now and his relatives are still saying shit about my mom, and my mom is still saying shit about them. it's like, let go already!! it drives me nuts.

oh, and i'd want to live with a guy before getting married. another big no-no. my dad would be cool with it - probably even make the suggestion himself. and i think my mom might be sort of ok with that. but there's the dreaded "other people" - as in "what will other people think?" or "what will other people say?". some of my relatives will throw fits for sure, i can see it coming already.

so if i'm not in a hurry to settle down, there are reasons for it.
posted at 8:20 PM |  

hard to believe it's august with this november-like weather we're having. i don't mind it too much, but when it's so cold out, i end up not taking long walks during my lunch break. which means, more time spent sitting in this office.

new hr lady wears a lot of perfume. it's quite strong, and i'm allergic. i hope that my nose will just get used to it in time. feel kinda weird asking her not to wear it.

why am i extra-sensitive to everything?

my stomach's been messed up since the dinner at ana mandara last week. don't even feel like eating anything : (
posted at 1:10 PM |  

in the middle of writing another cover letter right now...i made this goal for myself: apply for 1 job every week. seems manageable. of course, this is only the second week, so...i don't know how long i'll keep it up. i've slacked off a lot over the past few months. mostly because it just started to seem hopeless. but also because i was kind of half-hearted about it - like, i'd see jobs that i thought i could apply for, but then never did. and then i forgot about them completely. which obviously isn't helping me get another job.

i feel like i need a new plan of attack. emailing resumes just isn't doing it for me. but i don't know how to go about networking and such...will have to look into that...
posted at 11:54 PM |