the sun was out just a few minutes ago when i looked outside. but now, it's hailing. i'm very confused.
posted at 3:53 PM |  

sent out another resume today. i know some people send out several each day, but for me, one a day is a big deal. not due to me being lazy, but due to the lack of jobs that i am qualified for.

i also sorted a bunch of papers and threw away more junk. so overall, i've been good today. good, but not great. i'd be great if i went out and got some much-needed exercise. but that hasn't happened in a while.

i really do want to write about more "deep" things, but i just haven't been in the mood. one thing though - i hate instant messengers sometimes. and no, i don't want to just sign off. it's not the messages that bother me anyway (i hardly get any). it's...nevermind, i don't feel like elaborating. i just hate them, that's all.
posted at 6:38 PM |  

ok, i sent off another resume. now i can relax and watch tv for a few hours without feeling guilty about not doing anything.

i saw this job a while back, but didn't feel like applying for it...the job itself is pretty good. but, the company is back east, near boston...which was ok with me until this blizzard hit and i realized i really don't want to go back to that kind of weather. and also, this job requires a lot of traveling. i get the sense that it will entail some sales work, and i don't want to do any sales work. i'm not much of a talker as it is. but anyway, i applied because it's a big company and it'll be good for them to at least consider me...who knows, something else may pop-up and they might remember me or whatever...you never know...it's good for them to have my resume on file, just in case. at least, that's what i tell myself.
posted at 7:20 PM |  

started cleaning my room today. well technically, i was looking for something that i knew was in my room somewhere, probably hidden under a bunch of papers and crap. so i cleaned until i found it. then i stopped. so i still have more cleaning to do, but i'll save that for another day. half an hour is plenty for me.
posted at 5:34 PM |  

i finally sent out a resume today. and i also sent out a few emails to remind some people i had emailed earlier. so i feel like less of a slacker now. a little less anyway. we'll see what else i manage to get done this week.
posted at 7:44 PM |  

i had three dreams this morning that consisted of me getting out of bed and going about my usual morning stuff, only to wake up each time and realize that i was still in bed. i got so fed up after the third time, that i forced myself to get up. i was still sleepy though. i don't know how i sleep so much.

anyway, i finally returned that ugly shirt my aunt gave me for christmas. remember how i had guessed that i'd get about $7 for it? the actual amount was about $8. so i was pretty close. still, i hate that she's so cheap. i mean, they are rich people. they have a lot more money than my dad does, and yet my dad does spend about $25 each on christmas gifts for their kids.

my other aunt here is pretty cheap as well. she manages to avoid giving me birthday presents most of the time. but my dad does give presents to her daughter. oh, and (this is going back a bit) when my cousin got into med school, she told me that they were going to take me out to a nice restaurant to thank me for helping her so much. (i had pretty much written all of her application essays, stayed up until 2 or 3 am several nights, etc.) but they never took me out or gave me anything. and they are quite rich too.

come to think of it, i feel like the richer indians i know are the most frugal ones. i guess that's how they got that way. it irritates the hell out of me though. i mean, i was really pissed off at myself last week because i felt like i left a small tip somewhere. it wasn't a huge deal - i should have left about 50 cents more. but still, i felt terrible when i realized that i didn't leave enough. i was just out of it and i totally forgot that i had some change on me. my point is, the guilt would kill me...if i were that rich, and only spent $8 on a gift for a close relative? and an ugly gift at that? i just wouldn't be able to do it.
posted at 4:24 PM |  

i suck. i haven't done much of anything all week. i hope this is just a phase. a short one.
posted at 12:11 AM |  

still having a lot of trouble getting into job-search mode. or at least job-application mode. i want to send my resume to this one company that seems to be hiring right now, but i can't even focus for 2 minutes. been feeling out of it all day. i'm thinking maybe it's because i haven't been taking iron pills...i just hate taking them, so sick of it. but when i don't take them for a long time, i feel like i can't even do simple things in my head.

anyway...then there's this whole lack of motivation thing, because i feel like i don't have a chance of getting any of these jobs. especially ones i see on hotjobs or monster. or sometimes, i just don't feel like applying for them because of where they are located. i mean, i really don't think i'd consider moving out to some random suburb back east (or worse, in iowa). so why apply?

i contacted a few people before i went to new york, trying to network, but none of them have replied.

on top of that, i have to deal with my parents' nagging. are you looking for a job? (what am i supposed to say to that? no?) have you signed up for any classes? (i want to, in theory, but actually doing it is another matter. i mean, first i need to find a class that i want to take...and apparently i'm too indecisive to do that. and i don't want to do homework, which isn't helping matters.)

i just want to go to sleep now. will try to get something done in the morning when i'm less tired and cranky.
posted at 12:20 AM |  

i'm back...just hadn't felt like saying much. the trip was alright i suppose. i didn't get time to do everything i wanted to do, but that's nothing new. anyway, i mainly went to check in on my grandma, and she's feeling a little better now. although, with her you can't really tell. she tends to not tell anyone when she's having pain or not feeling right...and that worries me. she doesn't seem to understand the importance of saying something early, rather than waiting for it to get really, really bad. and no one there really looks out for her, which pisses me off. they just take advantage of her and treat her like a maid or something. and she doesn't complain about anything, she just doesn't want to be a burden on anyone. it's frustrating for me to see how she's living over there...

other than that, everything was pretty good. saw "hairspray" (there was a little kid sitting in front of me, so i could actually see the whole stage!), did some shoe-shopping, ate indian-chinese, and scared the little cousins by talking about a spirit that once jumped into a relative's body and used her as a medium. oh, and the weather was pretty nice for january. i seem to have missed all the really bad weather here in california too.

overall,it was nice to get away for a while. still not motivated to start looking for a job though...
posted at 3:59 PM |  

i need to be up at 6:30 tomorrow morning to catch my flight, and yet i'm still up now at 2:30...*sigh*...don't feel sleepy at all...but i know i'll be miserable tomorrow morning if i don't go to bed soon.

anyway, i probably won't be blogging from new york, so check back in a week or so.
posted at 2:26 AM |  

there were a million things i wanted to get done today, and i ended up not doing much at all. just too lazy and depressed all of a sudden. didn't sleep well last night. too many things weighing on me. one after the other...they keep piling up.

anyway, i'm going to be in new york next week. hopefully there won't be too much family drama. at the very least, being there will force me to go out and do stuff. so i think i'll feel better when i get back...refreshed anyway. need some time away (2 days in san diego just didn't do it for me).
posted at 10:30 PM |  

alias is starting tonight! yay! i can't wait. 3 full hours of good tv tonight...i feel so pathetic just saying that, but whatever. i know it'll be better than most of the movies i've seen lately.
posted at 5:35 PM |  

this game is a joke. seriously, how overrated is oklahoma?

aside from the rose bowl, it seems like most of the major bowls have sucked this year (thanks to the BCS!).

but anyway, i'm always happy to see a big 12 team lose.
posted at 7:54 PM |  

i did something weird to my yahoo email account a few days ago. it seems to think i have 4 unread messages, when in fact, i have zero. if i get one new email, it will say i have 5 messages, etc. it's driving me nuts. has this happened to anyone else?
posted at 4:17 PM |  

think i lost my favorite cal shirt in san diego. called the hotel, but they haven't seen it : (

going to go return the holiday bowl shirt i bought now. don't want to be reminded of it...
posted at 3:23 PM |  

well, the texas win pretty much capped off the shitty week i've had. just one more thing to be cranky about...
posted at 12:42 AM |  

happy new year!

i just got back from san diego a few hours ago...it was a pretty damn depressing trip overall. wish i had something good to say about it, but sadly, i don't. oh, wait. i can say this: adam duritz is strangely attractive up close. i was surprised, never thought of him in that way. i was also too shy to say anything to him, even though he was like, less than a foot away from me at one point. i was staring at him (unintentionally), and i think that when we made eye-contact, he may have even smiled at me. or maybe he just happened to be smiling as he walked by me. but whatever. he seemed really happy. (this was the night before the game. i'm sure he wasn't happy after the game.) so that was the highlight of the trip. which probably gives you a good indication of how bad the rest of it went.

too depressed to write about the game. but the trip wasn't bad because of the game alone. there were a bunch of other things that contributed. and i didn't even get to see this one friend of mine who lives there...was really hoping that we'd get to hang out...

anyway, i'll feel a little better if/when michigan kicks ass tomorrow. go blue!
posted at 1:58 AM |