i'll be taking off in about 11 hours. won't be blogging from india, so check back in about 3 weeks!

have a good new year everyone. posted at 3:09 AM |  

been wanting to write, i've just been so busy and stressed out (if you couldn't tell). but, i didn't forget about my bears! i finished a bunch of work today, got everything under control, and then sat back and watched the game. for purely selfish reasons, i was actually glad they ended up at the las vegas bowl. it's the only bowl i could watch. and i'm so glad i got to see it. lynch was amazing, desean was awesome, levy did everything expected of him (gotta love that guy!), and the defense played really well. actually, everyone did. yeah, i guess it got a little close in the end there, but that's just because we got all conservative in the 4th quarter (i hate that sometimes). anyway, i was really happy with the win. and now i'm going to go into football withdrawl... posted at 1:29 AM |  

alright, i'm officially stressed out now. i couldn't sleep last night because it suddenly hit me how little time i have to get everything done that i wanted/needed to get done before i leave (sunday).

i'm really terrible with time management. posted at 12:54 PM |  

i really don't want to get stressed out right now, but i have so much to do over the next week....it's going to get crazy. it always does. i wish i were more organized. and i wish that i didn't have another all-day meeting on monday. and i wish that my upstairs neighbors would leave for winter break already so that i can sleep properly next week. (although, maybe it would be easier for me to adjust to the time difference if i stay up all night?)

anyway, i should go back to work...i'm really not in the mood for it, but i have to get it done... posted at 4:51 PM |  

wow - i'm really surprised at randall on the apprentice. i thought he was going to win all along, but after seeing how un-classy he was at the end there...i really wished he hadn't won.

and i really believe that if rebecca would have been in his place, she would have said yes, hire him too. which is why i like her all the more now.

randall had nothing to lose and everything to gain - but instead he came off as a selfish jerk. his reasoning was fucking stupid too. by the way randall, the plural would be "apprentices" not "apprenti." posted at 11:28 PM |  

my hair has been making me want to cry. it's really not that horrible, but...it's going to be difficult to work with in india. and that stresses me out because everyone there is so critical of how i look. so now, in addition to dealing with comments like "oh my god, what's happened to your face? you have 2 pimples! you should go see a doctor!" (seriously, do people never break out over there??), and "why aren't you wearing any earrings?"(why is this a requirement anyway?), i'm sure there will be some regarding my hair as well. and it's too short to tie into a pony tail. which sucks because that's what i was planning on doing the whole time i was there.

anyway. too much work to do before i go. i better get back to it. posted at 4:24 PM |  

i'm feeling traumatized by my haircut.

well, it's more like: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. what have i done?!?!

i should have waited until i got back from my trip. or done it a month ago, so it would have had time to grow out.

stupid, stupid, stupid!! posted at 1:49 PM |  

arrgh. the guy from work wrote back, but his answers didn't help me any. i'll have to deal with it next week. i can't think right now. posted at 2:53 PM |  

i wanted to finish up some work yesterday (or this morning at the latest) so that i could relax and not have to worry about it over the next few days. but, there were a few things i didn't know how to do, so i emailed the guy yesterday afternoon, and he still hasn't written back...

i know, i shouldn't expect him to respond to my emails right away, or on weekends...but it just sucks because i wanted to be done with this by now. have too many other things to worry about next week.

and on a totally unrelated note, i think it sucks that i still haven't gotten a single birthday present. or even money. am i now too old to receive birthday presents, or what? i know my dad's been busy/preoccupied with all the book stuff. but what about all my other relatives? i hate it when they ask me to tell them specifically what i want. it takes the fun out of it. what i want is for them to look around and try to find something that i'll actually like. it's really not as hard as it sounds. they are just too lazy to do that. but anyway, they haven't even asked me this year...and some have conveniently left town already so i can pretty much expect to not get anything at all from them. i don't mean to sound like i'm all materialistic or whatever - it really is the thought that counts. however, sometimes it just pisses me off that i have such CHEAP-ass relatives. posted at 12:45 PM |  

starting to get a little stressed out...too many things to do before i go on vacation.

oh, and i totally forgot about getting shots. i should have got them a couple weeks ago. at first, i wasn't sure if i'd bother, but everyone else got them and seems to feel that they are necessary...so now i feel like i'm definitely going to get sick if i don't get them. even though i was fine last time, and i didn't take any shots or malaria pills or anything...but, maybe i just got lucky.

i wonder how much it'll cost. i do have insurance...sort of (in other words, the cheapest plan i could find)...but i doubt it'll cover this.

i'll just feel like a total idiot if i get sick because i didn't get the shots. but i don't even know if i'll have time to go to the hospital next week because i'm going to have so much work to do...

did i mention that i also totally forgot i had jury duty? i've been so out of it lately. i don't know if i was called in or not...hopefully not.

*sigh*...i'm too young to be getting this forgetful. i blame it on lack of sleep. yeah, that's it - it's all my upstairs neighbor's fault! posted at 2:08 AM |  

my cousin who's in med school delivered a baby yesterday. it's hard to believe she's already doing that kinda stuff. granted, it's not brain surgery. but still. it just hit me...like, whoa she's actually doing something real with her life...unlike me, pretty much bumming around more often than not...

med school seems pretty damn intense compared to anything that i've ever done. posted at 12:54 PM |  

it's going to be hard for me to deal with upstairs guy during the winter, because i have trouble getting myself to leave my warm bed and move to another (colder) room in the middle of the night. last night i kept telling myself "maybe he'll go to bed soon...maybe he'll go to bed soon...," but next thing i know, it's past 4 AM and i'm still up. and i'm starving. and i have a headache. and my back hurts. and i still don't want to leave my bed because it's so cold outside the covers. i fell asleep around 5.

i'm pretty much stuck with dark circles and bags under my eyes for the rest of my life now... posted at 1:00 PM |  

last night when i was tossing and turning in bed, i figured out a way to describe what's going on with me. you know those cartoons where there's a little angel sitting on one shoulder, and a little devil sitting on the other shoulder, telling the person what to do? well, i don't have an angel and a devil. i have this naive, insanely optimistic girl on one shoulder, and this dr. phil-type realist on the other shoulder, constantly telling me how stupid i am.

that's the best i can describe it. needless to say, it's driving me crazy. posted at 12:08 PM |  

been wanting to get something off my chest, but sometimes i feel like this blog is too...public...yet writing in a personal journal doesn't quite fulfill the need...*sigh*...

anyway. i don't even know what i would say if i were to write about this thing that's bothering me. because i don't know how to describe what i've been feeling. i'm just really frustrated that i can't seem to let go of some things.

i don't mean to be all cryptic. my brain just doesn't want to process whatever it is that i'm feeling. what i really need to do is throw myself back into work. that'll help. avoidance is good sometimes. posted at 4:08 PM |  

have i mentioned lately that i hate my upstairs neighbors? because i still do. posted at 12:49 PM |  

well, i didn't cross paths with any ex-co-workers...but i did go up to the wrong guy in the cafe. i only saw one indian guy there, and he had a laptop, so i assumed that was the guy i was meeting. but it wasn't. the actual guy showed up 15 minutes late, and aside from being indian, he looked nothing at all like the first guy i went up to (who was sitting right next to us, which was kinda weird). but anyway. he was really, really nice. i like working with nice people. i'll be doing some XML stuff...seems pretty simple. they are pretty much doing what my old company was doing, except i'll be working in production rather than authoring.

anyway, their software and authoring system is SO much more organized than my old company. i mean, those guys would make stuff up as they went along, rather than having everything planned from the start. i can't get over how crappy the back-end stuff was designed. no wonder they had so many bugs...it'll be nice to use more professional-quality tools now. posted at 3:31 PM |  

i'm meeting with someone about a second job tomorrow...i don't remember if i mentioned it earlier or not...i had interviewed with this one company a few months ago, but at the time they didn't really know what they wanted me to do, and they didn't have any funding to hire me yet. but they got funding now, so it looks like they're going to have me start doing some little things, and possibly give me a 9-month contract...it'll be part time, independent contract stuff, like i'm doing at the other place. but the two combined would work out pretty well...i mean, i'd be able to save up some money at least (i'm not working enough hours to do that right now).

anyway, so this guy who works there is going to meet me tomorrow to train me. out of all the possible places, he chose to meet me at a cafe a block away from my old company! at lunchtime! i have avoided going down in that area, especially around that time of day, because i don't want to run into anyone and be reminded of all that crap...i'm silly, i know. i just don't want to see anyone. i want to pretend like those years never happened at all...

i don't even think we'll be able to find a place to sit at that cafe. it's always so packed in there...oh, and i don't know what this guy looks like, so i have no idea how we'll find each other.

do i seem like i stress out over nothing? posted at 12:51 AM |  

i've been relaxing/bumming around at my mom's place for most of this week. no real reason...i was just enjoying being able to sleep so peacefully every night...

my mom had no luck getting through to the sister of the crazy woman i mentioned earlier. in fact, the sister started saying some pretty crazy stuff herself. so my mom got fed up and hung up on her pretty quickly. good riddance, i say. i don't think anyone in our family is going to talk to them again. posted at 6:11 PM |