so...to finish up my trip report...the other main sites i wanted to see in karnataka were the temples in belur and halebid (pics are up here). it was a big ordeal getting there - our driver basically didn't want to take us there. he kept saying it would take 5-6 hours each way and the roads were bad...plus, some of the people in our group didn't want to go and were complaining all the time...anyway, so 6 of us ended up renting another car (a faster one, with a better driver) to go there. and it took less than 3 hours (including a break). and the roads were not too bad at all. they were actually pretty good in some spots.

anyway, the temples were really nice. halebid especially. we went to belur first though, and i took way too many pictures there...then my camera battery ran out in halebid. i still took about 20 pictures there, but i probably would have taken more...what can i say? i like carvings. just hope they don't get too boring or repetitive... posted at 11:59 PM |  

been feeling too lazy to write lately...there were a lot of things i wanted to write about while i was in india, but i was kind of "over" everything by the time i came back and didn't really feel the need anymore...and i didn't really want to re-live some of the negative things i guess.

but i can try to give a quick summary of what i did there without going into too much detail about everything that upset me...

day 1: lunch party given by my uncle...half the people were jet-lagged, but it was the start of the reunion i suppose...most of the family was there.

days 2-6: the whole gang (well, most of us anyway) got on a bus and headed out to lonavala (a few hours away), where there is pretty much nothing to do...but that was kinda the whole point - we would be forced to spend time together. our family has a bungalow there, and they rented a couple more i think...and probably some hotel rooms too...there were roughly 40 of us there in total. madness. just to summarize: not very hygenic, half the people got sick, no electricity for at least a few hours every day (which wasn't a huge problem except for the lack of hot water during those hours...i just made sure to take my shower early), um...oh, really LOUD. especially when playing cards/games. the main reunion party was at a hotel one night, but it was outdoors (and freezing). i got sick that night. which may have been a little bit of a blessing in disguise because i slept the entire next day...it helped the time pass, being knocked out...new year's eve was spent at our bungalow. no one went out because we were all too sick and/or exhausted. but it was kinda cool, having so many family members sitting around in one big room...

day 7: a little bit of shopping in bandra, then went to visit my mom's side of the family...lots of relatives live in the same little neighborhood, so i walked from house to house...tried to spend a few minutes with everyone. my grandma's sister (the one who's really sick) was really happy to see me. the look on her face when she recognized me was priceless...but, it was really sad to see how much she's changed in just a few years, how weak she's gotten...she seemed really depressed about her condition, but i'd just hold her hand and smile...not much more i can do.

days 8-13: the karnataka trip...10 of us went, but i think only 5 of us really wanted to be there. basically...too many people stuck in a slow van with a bad driver (probably the worst driver i have ever had in india)...but i got to see the few places that i really wanted to see. will expand when i put up more pics later this week...

days 14-16: back to visit my mom's side. mostly, i just wanted a bed to sleep in (i was on the floor the whole time at my dad's family's place, what with so many people around). and some peace and quiet. i did some shopping - got some major bling by the way. i don't even want to think about how much it costs in dollars...it's unreal to me, spending so much money on jewelry. but apparently it must be done. oooh, and i also got to shop at mango (a european clothing chain). that was more fun for me. i can't wait until they open in the US.

day 17: said bye to people, packed, and left...completely exhausted.

so...that was my trip, in a nutshell. posted at 1:01 AM |  

thought i had finished all of my work for the week this afternoon...was all ready to relax...then i got an email with some more files to work on "if i felt like it" - and no, i don't feel like it, but...i know that i need to take whatever work they give me, whenever i get the chance. it's sad having to think about money. my mind just doesn't go there sometimes. like, i don't fully realize how little i am making when i don't put in enough hours. and i don't realize how important it is to save up money while i can. after all, i don't know what's going to happen in 7-8 months, when my contracts are up...*sigh*...it's depressing...

and on top of that, i hate feeling that the work i'm doing is below what i'm capable of doing...whenever relatives in india asked about my job, i felt kind of embarrassed about it. because i can't make it sound like it's more than it is. and i can't even make it sound interesting! i might as well tell people that i'm copying and pasting text for a living...alright, maybe it involves a little more than that, but nothing fancy-sounding and nothing super technical...certainly nothing requiring my fucking worthless master's degree (i'm so glad i didn't have to pay for grad school).

anyway...i don't mean to sound like i'm complaining - things could be a lot worse, i know that. but every now and then, i just feel unhappy with the direction i'm headed in (or lack thereof). this week in particular has been a bit rough for me. for the first time in a really long time, i found myself saying, "fuck it, i don't have to make this better. i'll just hurry up and get it over with." - i stopped being careful, stopped double-checking things, stopped trying to make sure everything was perfect. i just wasn't as thorough as i usually am. and i don't think anyone will notice, to be honest. it's just me - me knowing that i am starting to not care as much.

see, it's one thing to feel unmotivated when i had a full-time job and was still getting paid the same amount each month regardless...but when i'm getting paid by the hour like this, working from home...it's not a good sign. posted at 10:09 PM |  

added some more pics...but i didn't realize that flickr only allows 3 "sets" for free. so i'm going to need to reorganize at some point (meaning, combine all the india pics into one giant set).

anyway, you can click on the same link below for now (i just changed the name of the set). the new pics were also taken in coorg, but in different places. the coffee bean and flower pics were taken at a resort called orange county. (yeah, i know - i went from santa cruz to orange county, in india.) it's a really cute place as well. but too expensive for us to stay there. we just went there to eat. i would have liked to spend more time there and look around, but our driver was an idiot and pretty much wasted the whole day just getting us there because he didn't know the roads...it was a pretty drive though. posted at 2:41 PM |  

i put up a few more pictures from coorg - these were taken in madikeri, which is where we stayed. it's a cute little town. probably one of the least touristy places i have been to in india. which was nice, because less tourists mean less people begging you for money or trying to sell you crap everywhere you go. but, at the same time, it was just touristy enough that the hotel was really nice and had hot showers and nifty remote-controlled air conditioners...

anyway, there wasn't much to do there, but it was just a nice, peaceful place - i felt very relaxed there, enjoyed just looking out the window at the trees as we were driving around. oh, and apparently the coffee was really good. it didn't occur to me that i should try some, just because i don't drink coffee in general. but maybe i would have liked it there... posted at 6:18 PM |  

um...this looks a lot scarier than my amar chitra kathas...

and...i just feel that this is wrong on so many levels...like, even worse than the theme park. posted at 9:48 AM |  

i actually managed to not take a nap tonight. it was hard though.

anyway, i put a few pictures up. i should probably give you something in writing to go along with them - whatever i write about my trip is going to be totally out of order by the way.

so, as i mentioned a while back, a bunch of us took a sidetrip to karnataka, and there were a few places that i really, really wanted to see the last time i went there, but didn't get a chance to. well, i decided i had to be more assertive about it this time. one of those places is this tibetan settlement in coorg. our driver had no clue where it was, but luckily my cousin's kids (who are in college in mysore) had been there, so i had them tell the driver how to get there. and i really insisted that we go there, even though no one else seemed to give a shit. anyway, it was well worth it to see the huge buddhist temple there. one of the highlights of my entire trip. and now that i've given you a brief intro, here are some pics of the temple. posted at 1:27 AM |  

i slept for about 11 hours last night and i'm now feeling sleepy again...my stomach isn't 100% yet either.

i really don't feel like working. and it's hard being so close to my bed.

anyway, i wanted to start putting some pictures online, but they're mostly crap. my camera sucks, especially when the battery's running low. which was most of the time. and yes, i'm conveniently blaming the camera instead of myself, even though i could have probably taken better pics if i had taken the time to learn how to do certain things with the settings or whatever. however, the flash does suck - that's not my fault, as far as i know. oh, and pictures that look fine in the LCD turn out to be underexposed, and pictures that look overexposed turn out to be ok sometimes, but really are overexposed other times...it's annoying. basically what i'm saying is, i need to go adjust the brightness on every single picture, which is why it'll take me a while.

damn it, the half-hour break i gave myself is over already. i gotta get some more work done. before i get mad at myself. posted at 3:02 PM |  

*groan*...i have to start doing work now. i have deadlines. i haven't done anything all week because i've been feeling like shit...i'm so behind... posted at 11:55 AM |  

i'm still not feeling too good. i think i'll feel better if i throw up...not that i want to or would even be able to encourage that to happen...i mean, i hate throwing up. but sometimes...it's the only thing that helps.

anyway, i have a ton of work to catch up on, but i haven't been able to concentrate at all. and i've been off for so long that i feel like i've forgotten everything...*sigh*...

at the meeting today, i made a suggestion for some little thing, and this one woman was like "anita actually said something!"...i hate comments like that. it makes me so self-conscious. see, usually this woman talks so much, and so loudly, and with such conviction, that it's hard to get a word in edge-wise - especially if it means disagreeing with her. and usually i'm so busy trying to jot down everything she's telling me to do that i can't even see the big picture and think for myself long enough to make a comment. it's frustrating as it is, but even more so when people make remarks about me being too quiet - makes me feel like they don't think i'm doing a good job. then when i do say something, it's almost like they make fun of me (even though she liked my suggestion). it's annoying. makes me want to talk even less...i have very little patience for people like that these days... posted at 12:48 AM |  

i always have such a hard time adjusting to the time difference when i get back from india...it's annoying - waking up in the middle of the night, dozing off when i'm trying to watch TV in the evening (no matter how much caffeine i have in me), getting really hungry at odd hours, etc. and it's actually getting worse rather than better - the first night, i slept almost 12 hours straight, the second night i woke up at about 4:30 but then when back to sleep at 7:30, and last night i woke up at 3 and didn't go back to sleep at all. i have to go to work tomorrow, which will suck if i don't sleep well tonight...

anyway, the trip was alright. some good, some bad...mostly just overwhelming and tiring. i got a little sick (caught the flu from one of my cousins, got a cough that wouldn't go away, and had the usual upset stomach after the 2-week mark), but nothing too bad. other people had it worse.

everything looks so different whenever i go back - new freeways, new buildings, huge malls popping up all over...arcades, bowling alleys, gyms...it's crazy how fast some things change over there. even in the small neighborhood where my mom's family lives. the old bungalows are being torn down and turned into 8-story buildings...kinda sad, but then again those bungalows were looking really run-down...

anyway, i will give a more detailed trip report at some point when i'm in the mood. i'm just really glad to be back home and be able to take hot showers and eat burritos and watch tv and sleep in a bed on a comfortable mattress with a soft pillow! it's the little things in life... posted at 10:02 AM |  

i'm back. too tired to write though. give me a few days...jet lag sucks. posted at 5:54 PM |