new upstairs guy has been giving me a headache all day. i don't know if it's because he's unpacking and getting settled or what, but since 10:45 this morning, it's been this constant "BOOM. BOOM. BOOM....BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM" (from his extremely loud way of walking), combined with him occasionally hammering things, combined with heavy objects being dropped in his kitchen. i've had enough for one day. i hope he's not the type who stays at home a lot. because with his stomping, i don't see how i'll manage. at least ex-upstairs guy was usually gone during the day time. posted at 10:18 PM |  

new upstairs guy is moaning in the shower. just thought i'd share. posted at 1:30 AM |  

good news and bad news. i think at least one of the upstairs guys has moved out, because someone is attempting to move in right now. bad news is, it's another male student. i'm hoping that he goes to bed earlier than the other guy used to. doubt it though. posted at 4:42 PM |  

was on the phone for close to 2 hours going over some work-stuff with my partner. there are a few things that we really don't see eye-to-eye on, and i feel very frustrated when i don't understand how or why she reads into things way beyond what is literally written there...i feel like i always end up letting her have her way (with the secret intention of changing it later, though i probably won't actually do that because i know i shouldn't).

anyway, i emailed this other girl to see if the two of us should go over everything when it's all done just to clean it up, make it consistent, etc. i did not cc either of the other 2 people involved. i had a feeling that might be wrong of me, but i did it anyway. and of course, that girl emailed the other people about it and now one of them wants to come too. whatever. i might back out now. just take my money and let them do whatever they want. speaking of money, i still haven't gotten my contract in the mail. i hope i'm getting paid for all 3 of the sections i'm working on...

i should go finish up some other work now. i've just been so jumpy since i got off the phone. i have no idea why. i think i'm stressed out. posted at 3:49 PM |  

upstairs guys were vacuuming a lot this morning. i hope that means they're moving out! keeping my fingers crossed...

i have so much work to catch up on over the weekend. couldn't concentrate yesterday. i feel like such a slacker. something that took my partner 2 hours to finish took me 2 days...i could have finished it sooner, but the problem is, i never take myself seriously when i set deadlines for myself. especially working from home. it's hard... posted at 1:59 PM |  

the new project is insane. no one knows what they're doing. and it's going to affect the entire state of utah!!! ok, not really. but i hope those utah folks aren't depending on us. hardly any of us have done this before. and we really didn't get much at all in the way of directions or instructions...but i assume that utah hired us because they thought we knew how to do this? i probably shouldn't say more. i'm just going to do my best (in the available amount of time, which isn't much) and assume that someone will check over everything. sorry utah! posted at 4:50 PM |  

upstairs guy is making my apartment shake more than the actual earthquake that hit yesterday. (and of course, i didn't know that it was an earthquake at the time, because i thought it was him.) posted at 10:28 PM |  

i guess it's officially that time of the year - time for the "there's nothing on TV" boredom to set in. at least i should get more work done at night now. i know i should probably find something else to do...but what? posted at 6:15 PM |  

tired...was at the office all day...the new project is kind of driving me insane. but it's also a good change - something completely different that i haven't really done before.

anyway, i was really disappointed by the alias finale. i wish that they had been given a whole season to wrap up the show, rather than having to scramble to put something together all of a sudden, cramming everything into what - 6-8 episodes? or was it less than that even? i just wasn't satisfied. still a lot of questions left unanswered. plus, i really hate what they did with some characters - irina especially. she lost all her complexity, everything that made her so interesting in earlier seasons. oh well. i still love watching re-runs of the first 2 seasons. hoping "lost" doesn't go downhill after that mark as well. posted at 4:54 PM |  

so tired and miserable....i hate my upstairs neighbors!!!...stupid assholes...i think i slept 2 hours last night. then on and off all morning.

i'm really hoping they move out soon. or at least go away for the summer. because now that school's out, i have a feeling it's going to be like this more often... posted at 12:42 PM |  

i have so much work to do, but i've been really unmotivated all week...hardly did anything.

still no word about the other job. waiting sucks. posted at 2:23 PM |  

upstairs guys are having yet another party...i'm just hoping that it's a graduation party. posted at 1:33 AM |  

since yesterday i've been getting bombarded with emails about engineering jobs located in india - something i definitely did not sign up for, especially with my gmail address. anyway, i got irritated so i started replying to some of those emails, asking to be removed, etc. and finally someone wrote back and told me that she got my email address from a profile on an indian jobs site and that i could delete my profile from there if i didn't want to receive any more emails. and no, i don't actually have a profile on the site (never even heard of it) but i went there and clicked on the "forgot my password" link (using the same email address). so they emailed me the corresponding login and password - and it's definitely not me, it's someone in india. so weird. anyway, i emailed that person (using the other email address that she uses to log in) and told her what's going on - i assume that she made a typo and entered the wrong email address. if i don't hear back, i'll just delete my email address from her profile i suppose, since i have her password and all...

i really need to figure out a less common email address. i've had way too many people accidentally email me at this gmail account - which was intended to be for personal email only, no other junk. then again, i get very few personal emails anymore, so it's more about me getting all excited to have email only to be disappointed that it wasn't meant for me. yeah, i have no life. posted at 11:10 PM |  

i've had terrible heartburn since saturday night - not continuously, it comes and goes. today's been the worst. well, probably because i ran out of zantac. anyway...a friend's up visiting from southern cal. visiting her boyfriend, that is. we're all supposed to hang out at some point, and i'm so anxious to meet him. i have trouble believing she's serious about this guy, but maybe if i meet him and see them together in person...

it's hard to explain but i've had sort of weird feelings about the whole thing - can't quite figure out if i'm envious that she's found someone, or if i'm a bit resentful about it (that's the part that's hard to explain), or if i'm concerned about her settling - though if that is what she's doing, i shouldn't hold it against her.

see, back when we were in college, this was her: "yeah my parents are both doctors, and yeah they've always wanted me and all my siblings to be doctors, and yeah i feel like they pretty much insisted that i major in MCB, but i really do want to be a doctor, really! i mean, i think i'll get a teaching crediential after i'm done with med school and go teach elementary school, but i really am interested in being a doctor too, really i am!"

do you get the idea?

cut to like, a year ago. this was her: "yeah, my parents are getting on my case about getting married. but yeah, i do want to get married soon because so many of my friends got married this year and i feel like i'm missing out. i don't have a boyfriend, but my relatives have been setting me up with some indian guys. and it doesn't bother me because i do want to meet indian guys, and i do want to marry one, and i do want to get married soon, really i do!"

sometimes...i'm just like, who is she kidding? maybe she really means it, i don't know. i just feel like she's so caught up in being a good indian girl and doing whatever her parents tell her to do, that i'm doubtful that she even knows what she really wants to do. i could be wrong. but seeing how she went through like 5 indian guys in a couple months (before meeting the guy she's currently with), and...well, just knowing that she feels like she's running out of time (even though she's only 27 - granted, practically old-maid time for most indians, but still young to me)...i am assuming that she's thinking about marrying this guy. and from what i've heard about him, he probably decided he wanted to marry her months ago. never mind the fact that they're doing the long-distance thing and seem to be pretty different and really haven't spent that much time together in their normal lives. because hey, they're both indian, he's an engineer, she's a doctor, and it'll be perfect, really it will!

i don't know why i'm so cynical about it. maybe i should admire her for being so...um, active about it? because i'm so not motivated to meet random indian guys that relatives try to set me up with. and i'm certainly not thinking about marriage even though i am getting "old". and i already screwed up in my parents' and relatives' minds in terms of my career.

*sigh*...i don't know what i'm getting at. and it doesn't really matter as long as she's happy with herself and her choices and her life. there's just this part of me that wonders if i'd be happy too, if i would give up on my stupid principles/excuses and be more open to things that my parents want me to do. and why am i so opposed to those things anyway? i don't know....i'm just so confused these days. posted at 5:15 PM |  

i had to go to the office this morning so i slept at my mom's place last night, and guess what? she has new neighbors. new, LOUD neighbors. and of course, my bedroom is the closest to their house, so when they were BLASTING music last night, i could hear it loud and clear. and i couldn't even bang on anything to get them to be quiet. anyway, so i didn't sleep well last night, went to the office this morning and worked with this crazy person who didn't even want to take a lunch break, crawled through traffic (god i hate that 92-880 junction!) back to my mom's. in short, i'm tired and my head hurts. those neighbors better not be loud tonight. posted at 12:53 AM |  

so the new project is going to keep me pretty busy for the next month. unfortunately, we have to work in groups. (well, it was supposed to be pairs, but somehow 4 of us are working on 2 parts, all together, instead of 2 on each, because only 1 of the 4 people knows what she's doing.) this concerns me a bit because 1) i'll have to go to the office more often, to meet with these people, and 2) i'm not sure if i'm going to be paid fairly. i'll have to check on that. oh, and i somehow got put on 3 parts in total (the plan was to have everyone do 2, so i'm not sure how this happened). and this third one is another story, because my partner lives in kentucky or something. (we'll handle that one over phone/email though, thank god.)

anyway, i drove way too much today. time to watch tv - alias and lost, my favorites! posted at 7:46 PM |  

i hate waiting. no word yet about the job...even if it's a "no" i'd rather hear it now instead of waiting and wondering all week...

i've got a meeting all day tomorrow...new project. i hope it's interesting. actually, i'm just glad they found something for me to do because work has been really slow lately. well, technically i haven't had any work at all for job#1 since march. job #2 has been up and down. really busy since last week, but i don't know how long it'll last. anyway, if the job i interviewed for doesn't come through, i'll really need this new project. so i feel some relief in knowing that i'll have that at least... posted at 6:39 PM |  

why is it impossible to find a good dentist who doesn't charge an arm and a leg?

i got a $22/month dental insurance plan, thinking it would help. but i guess i didn't read the fine print - found out i still had to pay $155. i don't save much at all if you add up how much i pay for the insurance. in fact, i might not save anything if i keep going to this dentist.

i really don't want to have to go back to the ghetto dentist i went to last time either.

*sigh*...hopefully i will have a real job within the next 6 months and none of this will matter. posted at 4:32 PM |  

the interview was really long. it took over 2 and a half hours - and this was with the same person that i already spoke to for an hour on the phone. i really don't know how i did - some parts went well, and others were really bad. i think he was just trying to see where i would fit in best. it became pretty obvious at one point that i was weak in some areas. i'm just hoping that he thought i was strong enough in other areas. anyway, i should hear back from him next week regarding a 2nd interview. (i was supposed to talk to a couple other people as well, but one was out of town and another got delayed at an airport trying to get back this morning.)

overall, it was pretty intense. i'm not entirely sure if it's the right job for me - some aspects appeal to me a lot, but i don't know if i necessarily have the creativity and energy that they want. i'll see what happens...i mean, i wouldn't turn down the job, and i'd definitely be up for the challenge if i got it, but i wouldn't feel totally heart-broken if it doesn't come through. posted at 3:18 PM |