crappy day so far.

first of all, i didn't fall asleep until about 5 am. upstairs guy had the water running in the bathroom sink...it started irritating me at about 4:08, so it had probably been on for a while at that point. and he didn't turn it off until 4:53. yes, i timed it. call me crazy, but what on earth would someone be doing at the sink for that long in the middle of the night? seriously.

then, an uncle in india called me at 8:30 in the morning. spoke to him for a while, then went back to sleep. then my aunt (who lives in the same flat!!) called me like 45 min later and woke me up again. spoke to her, went back to sleep. then another aunt called 30 minutes later and woke me up. went back to sleep. another half hour or so later, my dad called and woke me up. at that point, i couldn't go back to sleep, but i stayed in bed because i was feeling so groggy. finally, my grandma called at 11. she's the only one who knows when it's a safe time to call. i had to get up then and go to work. i had a hard time actually doing work in the office though. i just wasn't comfortable at all. i'm not even sure i did what my manager wanted me to do. i feel bad. i think he wants me to write up a couple paragraphs and email it to him by tomorrow, but i have no idea what to say in it. this is all new to me...*sigh*...so stressed...

oh yeah, and i just wanted to say, my friends suck. so there. i was reading another blog and someone wrote something like if wealth were measured in friends, she'd be really rich (i'm totally paraphrasing). but me, i'd be a homeless bum. maybe i have a few shiny quarters in my paper cup, but that's about it. (note: i'm not blaming them, it's probably 75% my fault because i don't let people in enough...but sometimes all i fucking want in life is someone who will remember my birthday. in addition to all those relatives mentioned above.) posted at 6:13 PM |  

i'm officially 29 now...*groan*...that's a hard birthday. the last year of my 20's starts today. and even though i never had any real timeline set for myself like many other women do, i still feel like i am so far from where i want to be - in all aspects. sometimes i wish i were the type who could write down a master plan - a way to get to where i want to be over the next 12 months. but i'm not. i wouldn't know what to put in such a plan anyway, what the steps would be. so i guess i'll just continue taking it one day at a time until i get a clue.

anyway, i was planning on taking the day off, but a meeting that was supposed to be today got postponed to tomorrow, so i gotta go into the office on my birthday. as well as thursday and friday. it's going to be a hectic week...only one day in and i'm already behind.

i'm feeling like i'm under a ton of stress. it's not work necessarily (though it is rather busy at the moment), but other things - trying to figure out what the hell i'm going to do about my living situation in january. and trying to figure out when i can go to new york. and trying to keep track of all these random things that are coming up - jury duty (i totally forgot to even call in the last time i was supposed to), estimated taxes, forms that need to be filled out for work, a bunch of phone calls to make, blah blah blah...definitely need to clean my room at some point (started last week, but didn't really make that big of a dent)...and well, shopping wasn't all that successful so i still need clothes to wear to work...still need to buy a computer...the list goes on and on...just too much to think about right now. i really wanted to chill out tomorrow and just enjoy the day, but i can't even do that...*sigh*...oh well. that's life. posted at 1:27 AM |  

hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving...mine was pretty uneventful. my dad (the usual turkey-preparer) and some other relatives went out of town, so we didn't have the big dinner this year. i just hung out at my mom's and we split a game hen. i don't know why she felt the need to cook a bird, i would have been fine with anything. but i do like game hen better than turkey.

anyway, now that i can anticipate having money again in the near future, i'm starting to feel like i want to go shopping. i've seriously avoided buying anything for a long time. didn't feel motivated. didn't even look much, i'd just get irritated whenever i went into stores. but now i'm excited about the idea of getting new clothes. probably because i won't be sitting around in my sweats all day anymore, come january. and i figure i should also buy a new computer and stuff within the next month or so, while they're still tax deductable. it's like it's all of a sudden so much easier to spend money now...looking into going to new york and/or san diego next month before i start work, to spend even more money! might as well. (not to worry, i won't get carried away. and i'm sure i'll start saving up again soon enough.) posted at 12:40 AM |  

i'm having computer issues. thought i'd just throw it out here in case someone wanted to help : )

i ran my anti-virus software last night, and it told me to delete some files that it claimed were trojans. so i deleted them. and ever since then, i can't open gmail in IE. it works fine in firefox though. (i know, i should just use firefox all the time - the thing is, with my special mouse, scrolling is much smoother and faster in IE.) so...any ideas as to what might be wrong?

update: never mind. it fixed itself. i guess it had nothing to do with me. posted at 3:57 PM |  

upstairs guy has been at the bathroom sink for over half an hour now. water running the whole time. what the hell could he be doing? seriously. is he shaving? does it take that long to shave? he's asian, how much facial hair could he have??

i'm not complaining - better to do whatever he's doing in the middle of the day rather than the middle of the night, but i just get curious. i never knew guys spend so much time in the bathroom... posted at 1:08 PM |  

i feel like i'm losing my mind. there's this page that i edited on friday or saturday, and i'm sure i saved it. but when i opened it up yesterday, certain things didn't look right. i thought, hmmm, that's weird. but figured maybe i didn't fix those things the first time. made more changes yesterday, opened up the file today, and again, many of those changes i made yesterday are gone! but not all of them. and it's just that one page. i know i save my work every few minutes, so that's just weird. and why would some changes get saved but not all? so now i'm wondering if i really made those changes or did i then change them back and forget. (if i'm like this now, imagine how i'll be when i'm 50 or 60.) posted at 12:52 PM |  

i'm not as depressed as i thought i would be. disappointed, sure. it was a winnable game, but cal didn't play to win and sc did. we hung with them for 3 quarters and i was hopeful that we'd pull it out, but well, we didn't. and it's ok. hopefully all will be better when we pound stanfurd. posted at 2:27 AM |  

45 min to kickoff. we HAVE to win. i would absolutely love a cal-michigan rose bowl...*sigh*...i know, not likely. but it would be great.

goooooooo bears! posted at 4:24 PM |  

got a filling replaced this afternoon and the numbness is driving me nuts. i'm also really hungry, but they told me to wait until it wore off. and i have bitten my cheek in the past because i didn't wait. don't want to do that again... posted at 5:43 PM |  

i was at my mom's for the past few days...came back to my place to find two mouse tails sticking out of a trap. i'm very confused. did two mice go in there and get killed at the same time? is one dead and another in there sleeping or something? is it possible for a mouse to have more than one tail?

it's a covered trap, and i don't really want to look inside to see. but i am very curious how this happened. posted at 4:35 PM |  

fucking arizona.

i'm so depressed now. we still have a chance if we beat usc next weekend, but it's not looking good...

it just pisses me off to lose like this - because of 2 key plays: the PI call on hughes that was clearly wrong. we should have had that interception. and then hawkins tripping and falling when he was wide open to go into the endzone. i know he has a bad ankle or whatever, but still. that was terrible!

what a way to lose. we still had plenty of time there at the end too, but just couldn't get it done. came close, but that tiny little step out of bounds...*sigh*...it was just one of those games.

and fucking stanfurd actually won a game! what is going on today?!?!?! posted at 4:24 PM |  

i didn't fall asleep until past 4 am last night. it pisses me off when people are so inconsiderate...they made my smoke detector fall down again too. i don't know what the hell they're doing up there sometimes...i just know that it's loud and it makes my apartment shake.

i don't even know what i can possibly say to them anymore. it's frustrating.

i got my official offer letter today - i'll be starting full time in january. i guess that means i'll have to move out by then. posted at 2:07 PM |  

upstairs guys are having a party. it's so annoying...thursday nights are always bad, but tonight seems worse than usual. i hope it doesn't last too long. apparently people from the house next door have complained about them as well, but no one does anything about it!

i should start looking for a new place. seriously. i'm just so confused about where i want to live... posted at 11:43 PM |  

i'm kind of upset about the niners moving...mostly because of how it affects SF's olympics bid.

and the A's moving to fremont...*sigh*...i don't understand.

but anyway. i've been in meetings the past couple days. i actually speak now. well, sometimes. more than i used to. i think it's partially because there are 2 less people now. when there are too many people talking at the same time, i find it hard to speak up and interrupt. and also i guess i'm getting used to that one really loud lady who doesn't shut up. she occasionally says things that offend me, but whatever. i'm not as frightened of her as i used to be. and it helps that she likes my work. posted at 6:27 PM |  

i am pretty sure i have mice again (spotted some droppings in my kitchen today), so i was wondering why i hadn't caught one in the trap in my kitchen. checked it out just now, and guess what - the bait's gone! i am 100% positive i put some in there when i set the trap in the first place. so did a smart mouse figure out how to get the treat without getting killed? so strange...

anyway, i'm exhausted tonight. and i still have a million things to do. it's hard to keep up during football season. i seem to be getting more and more distracted, what with the visions of roses dancing in my head...meaning, i'm spending way, way, way too much time on certain message boards and websites and also watching too much espn, when i should be taking care of various other things. especially work, which is probably going to get crazy next week...*sigh*...i'm so far behind right now. and i still haven't cleaned my room. and yes, i'm blaming it all on football. posted at 2:40 AM |  

i feel like i have so many things i need to do...how is it november already? the past couple months have just flown by. i need to start making lists. and actually doing the things i write down in those lists. i tell myself this all the time, and i always get distracted by one thing or another. i don't know what to do with myself...

i just hate feeling so overwhelmed. posted at 1:07 AM |  

work server's down. just thought i'd take this time to bitch about some things.

1) i find it really annoying when people who make 70k a year, live at home, don't pay rent, etc. complain about how expensive it is to go down to LA for a game. what the hell do you do with all your saved up money?!?!?

2) i'm becoming increasingly put off by my cousin who's in med school, for various reasons:

- she's one of those people that always talked about how much she wanted to be a doctor for all the "good reasons" - to help people, especially kids. she always wanted to be a pediatrician. but the last time i saw her, someone asked her what she was specializing in (it's not pediatrics), and her answer was something along the lines of "i can make a lot of money doing those types of procedures." i'm thinking, you're going to be a doctor, you'll make a lot of money regardless of what you specialize in. so why do you pick a speciality that's not really your passion, just for the money? i find it totally ridiculous.

- i'm also annoyed with her because she looks really good these days. how does she have the time? i don't. and med school has made her really skinny. i want to be skinny again when i look at her...

- i asked her about that picture that i wanted, and she said she didn't send it to me because she looked bad in it. and there's no good way to tell her that i didn't want the picture because she was in it, i wanted the picture because i was in it...*sigh*...i may never get that picture. if i'm making an unnecessarily big deal about it, it's because it was one of those rare occasions when i was actually dressed up and stuff. so i just wanted a nice pic of myself. i was going to crop her out anyway!

3) my mom is still whining about me needing to find a good job even after i told her that i've got this job all lined up. i guess she doesn't consider it to be a "good" job. and she's also whining about me needing to find a husband. she didn't specify that he needed to be a "good" husband.

4) i hate all these changes that start happening to your body and skin as you get older. it's depressing. and i don't even have any gray hair yet. posted at 3:33 PM |