getting a year older sucks. my birthdays are always depressing too...maybe if i actually did something fun on my birthday for once, i'd enjoy them more. or not. i don't know. it's kind of annoying having it right around (or sometimes on the same day as) thanksgiving. and i always feel like the only people who call me are the people i don't want to hear from (like, random relatives from india who i don't have anything to say to but at the same time don't want to be rude to).

but anyway...i did go shopping and got a good deal on a dress (gotta love those 50% off sales!). so that's one thing off the list. but my apartment is still a mess, and i didn't catch up on any work as i intended. i don't know why i thought i would...i should know better by now. contemplating taking tomorrow off, just because i've been spacing out in the office lately and not doing anything. always seems to happen to me this time of year. it's terrible. one would think that i'd feel a bit rested and refreshed after a 4 and 1/2 day weekend, but no...always feel like i need one more day. or week. or longer. work is so boring lately. when i'm not enjoying what i'm doing and not feeling into it, i am completely unmotivated. but i do have stuff that i need to get done, so i can't just blow it all off...life is so unfair... posted at 11:53 PM | 0 comments

so hard to believe it's almost the end of november already...i feel like i've done nothing over the past few months. and like i've been in denial. just don't want to deal with anything...so i pretend they don't exist. then i panic when i realize that i actually do have to deal with them.

and my birthday's appoaching so that's depressing me too.

and a friend's wedding to attend in a few weeks...you know how i love weddings. especially when i will not know anyone there besides the bride. and i don't have any clothes to wear. and my travel plans are still unsettled...*sigh*...i want to be there for my friend, but it's such a hassel. there's a part of me that wishes i couldn't make it. is that terrible? posted at 12:22 AM | 0 comments

whyyyyy doo teeeeeenagersss write like thisssssss nowwww? i dontttt gettt itttttttt.

instead of typing fewer characters (like to text quickly), they're adding MORE. someone explain this to me. i feel old. posted at 7:44 PM | 0 comments

there's only so many "it's time for you to get married" talks i can put up with in one day. actually, even one of them would be one too many, but three in one day is just...way too much. it's super annoying and just frustrating as hell! they either make me feel like i'm too pathetic to actually get a guy to like me (not true), or like i'm over the hill and destined for old maid-dom if i don't listen to them, or from those aunts who never got married, like they want to live vicariously through me. i can only take so much of it. it's almost to the point where i'd be willing to get married just to shut them all up. posted at 11:47 PM | 2 comments

i have so much stress inside of me but i have no idea where it's coming from! keep clenching my teeth, which i know i have to stop...it's just so subconscious...i seriously need to start meditating or something. i don't really know what else might help. figuring out what i'm so stressed about perhaps? i should probably write more. i intended to start writing here more regularly, but lately i've just been so out of my mind. maybe it's my messy room that is stressing me out? i still haven't cleaned. i'm horrible. i just have too much stuff...and no idea where it should go. posted at 11:27 PM | 0 comments